


The Haunting

by RacheyRagdoll



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, Phandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5083177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RacheyRagdoll/pseuds/RacheyRagdoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is reluctant to waste his time visiting a haunted house attraction, but he gets more of a scare than he was bargaining for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Haunting

The haunted house was a bad idea, Dan knew that from the start. He had somehow let himself get talked into going by his friend PJ, but as the house loomed in front of him, he was starting to regret his decision. It wasn’t that he was scared, in fact it was quite the opposite. As he watched the children exiting the house laughing, he knew he would be bored shitless. The advertisements had promised live actors and special effects, but Dan knew all this meant was some smoke and a few mirrors.  
“Do we really have to go in?” Dan sighed. “It’s going to be fucking shit I know it. The only people going in are six year olds and their parents.”  
“Oh come on it’ll be fun,” PJ said enthusiastically. “Besides I want to find out what costume make up they use it looks pretty good on the flyers.”  
“You can’t just start chatting to them about their make up they have to stay in character.” Dan said, rolling his eyes. “We could still turn back and watch a horror movie at my place instead.”  
“No way, this place looks awesome, look at these pumpkins.” PJ said excitedly, his eyes fixed on the neat line of elaborately carved pumpkins leading up the entrance of the house.  
“Then let’s admire the pumpkins instead of paying £5 to have some dickhead in a costume jump out at us.”  
“Oh come on Dan,” PJ laughed. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”  
“This is far from an adventure,” Dan sighed, following his friend into the house.

It was just as Dan had expected, a dark house with creaky floorboards and a winding spiral staircase to the second floor. The walls were adorned with creepy portraits that changed depending on what angle you looked at them from. Dan followed PJ through the hallway and into the first room where a woman dressed as a vampire reminded them that photography wasn’t allowed and to not touch the actors. “Way to ruin the mood,” Dan muttered as they fell back to the end of the group of excited children and their less enthusiastic parents.  
“Be careful,” the vampire woman smiled, showing a set of prosthetic fangs. . “Or one of you may get taken.”  
“I hope it’s me,” Dan said. “Then I wouldn’t have to go through this stupid house.”  
“Would it kill you to enjoy yourself a little?” PJ asked, nudging Dan forward to stop him from losing the group.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,” a tall man in a suit said. “And welcome to the house of the late Lord Pennington. You see, Lord Pennington met his end in the very room you’re standing in, it was a brutal affair, but let’s not worry too much about that, I see you’re here for the grand tour of the manor. But I warn you, strange occurrences have been happening recently, so stick close and follow me.”  
“What is this a murder mystery?” Dan sighed as the group shuffled into the next room. The room suddenly went dark before a dozen candles flickered into life seemingly on their own, leaving the room bathed in an orange glow. A few of the children screamed as they saw the man slumped in the chair, his face covered in fake blood.  
“Should they really be letting kids see that?” Dan asked. “They’re going to have nightmares.”  
“Kids see worse than that these days,” PJ shrugged. They continued into the next room without their guide where a second man was slumped across a table. He jumped up suddenly, making the children and a few of the parents jump. “Listen! You are all in grave danger, Lord Pennington is angry and has no mercy. Get out of here as fast as you can. Hurry!”  
“This doesn’t even make any sense,” Dan said as they climbed the spiral staircase. “Why was that dude slumped over the table, was he a drunk? Should we trust anything he says?”  
“I think you’re reading too far into this,” PJ laughed.  
“I think we should listen to him and get out before I die of boredom,” Dan sighed, walking into the next room to find a man with a butchers knife.  
“Ah, fresh meat,” he smiled, gazing around at the group. “Which one of you should I slice up first?” “Seriously I paid £5 for this?” Dan mumbled, standing with his back against a curtain that he guessed was covering the window.  
“Lord Pennington should be here any minute, he’ll decide which one of you is juicy enough.”  
Dan screamed as he felt a pair of arms wrapping round him from behind, attempting to drag him through the curtain. He quickly struggled free, turning round and punching his perpetrator hard in the face. Dan gasped, realising what he had just done. The man was clutching at his nose, blood pouring out that was definitely not fake. 

“You had to go and punch him didn’t you,” PJ sighed as they sat in a small room at the back of the house.  
“He grabbed me. It was a natural reaction. Do you really think i’m in trouble?” A large man came through the door before PJ could answer, followed by a younger man with black hair and pale skin that looked almost translucent. Dan immediately recognised him despite the fact that he was holding a blood stained tissue to his nose.  
“We owe you an apology,” the older man said. “Our actors are specifically told not to touch the customers.” “Wait you owe me an apology?” Dan said incredulously. “I punched the guy in the face, I broke his nose.”  
“You didn’t break it,” the younger man said, taking the bloody tissue away. “At least I don’t think you did. But he’s right, I shouldn’t have touched you. I just heard you complaining about how bored you were and well- I thought I would try to scare you. I just didn’t expect to be punched for it.”  
“You don’t need to keep saying sorry. I mean you didn’t even scare me that badly.”  
“Oh so that’s why you screamed like a little girl,” PJ teased.  
“Oh shut up. I just wasn’t expecting someone to grab me, I thought I had my back to a window.”  
“I need to get back to the house,” the older man explained. “But Phil here will make sure you get a full refund. And Phil, that’s coming out of your paycheck.”  
“Yes sir,” Phil sighed as the man left.  
“I don’t want the refund,” Dan explained. “Really it’s not that big of a deal, it was actually quite funny.”  
“It was quite funny,”Phil smirked. “Until you punched me in the face. That wasn’t quite as funny.”  
“I really am sorry,” Dan said. “Let me make it up to you.”  
“How are you planning on doing that? Are you going to let me punch you in the face?”  
“No,” Dan laughed. “Even though I probably deserve it. But I could buy you a pumpkin spice latte or something.”  
“I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t hang out with someone so violent,” Phil teased. “Besides I don’t even know your name, you could get your kicks from punching strangers in the face for all I know.”  
“I’m Dan. And that’s not how I get my kicks,” Dan blushed, looking up into Phil’s piercing blue eyes.  
“Oh I just remembered, I left my coat in the house, I better go get it,” PJ said, winking at Dan.  
“But you didn’t bring-“  
“Gotta go!” PJ said, cutting Dan off and quickly leaving the small room.  
“So about that coffee,” Phil smiled. “I’ve decided to take you up on your offer.”  
“You have? What happened to the me getting my kicks from punching people in the face thing?”  
“I’ve decided to trust you,” Phil replied, a faint smile on his lips. “I mean you won’t punch me again as long as I don’t scare you right?”  
“Look I said I was sorry-“  
“Relax,” Phil laughed. “I’m just teasing you, I would love to go get coffee with you.”  
“You’re not going to turn up dressed as count Dracula are you?” Dan smiled.  
“Would you believe me if I told you this was my actual skin tone?” Phil said. “I think they only hired me because I already look like a ghost. They didn’t need to waste money on too much make up.”  
“And are your eyes naturally black too?” Dan laughed, indicating Phil’s smudged eyeliner.  
“Sadly not. Sorry to disappoint.”  
“And I thought I was getting coffee with a real vampire.”  
“I’m not a vampire,” Phil pouted. “I am Lord Pennington.”  
“Ok Lord Penguinton when are you free to get coffee with me?”  
“I’m free on Saturday.”  
“It’s a date.”


End file.
